Resources For Peacemakers

What Is A Mediator?

The purpose of this post is to answer the question, “What is a mediator?”  A mediator is a trusted, neutral person who facilitates a process designed to empower parties to recognize find their own, satisfactory solutions to intractable conflict. Each word in the sentence above has important meaning.

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The Link Between Forgiveness and Peace

It is said that holding a grudge is like eating poison and then expecting the other person to die.  As we all know from experience, it’s very easy to hold grudges.  Yet, we know there are very damaging consequences to our entire being when we fail to forgive.  There are mental consequences, emotional consequences, and physical consequences.  Conversely, perhaps the opposite is also true.  The spiritual journey to forgiveness is steep and rocky and challenging.  Yet, when we reach the summit of the path to forgiveness, the view is spectacular.  This blog post is about the journey. Read More

Conflict Transformation As A Spiritual Practice

Jesus had a remarkable gift for seeing through everything superficial, for peeling back the layers of the dusty, superficial robes of identity we wear,  to peer into a person’s inner soul.   Whether speaking to a Roman Centurian, to a Samaritan adulteress, or to a distinguished Rabbi,  Jesus always seemed to see beyond title or position and to respond to the deeper thoughts and real need of the individual he was relating to.

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What Does a Mediator Do?

I help families manage transitions (divorce, elder planning, adoptions, custody issues, etc.) in ways that are intended to reduce conflict and build consensus.  Mediation is a new paradigm for conflict resolution, and I encourage you to learn more.

You do not need to already be in agreement to use a mediator!  It is my job to help you reach authentic agreement – peacefully, respectfully, and confidentially.

While I cannot guarantee a particular result in a particular case,  I sincerely believe most clients find that non-adversarial processes result in less stress, better long term relationships, more understanding,  hopefully truly better results, and (as a side effect) lower cost.

Feel free to ask any questions (or to request an appointment) by calling 803-414-0185 during business hours, or by filling out the form below.

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If you do not receive a reply within one business day, please telephone 803-414-0185 between 8:30 AM and 5:30 PM, EST.

If you desire a one-half hour consultation for $50, please click the appropriate PayPal link, below, in addition to sending the above information.


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What Is Mediation?

The term mediation doesn’t describe a particular type of meeting.   It is more accurate to say that the term “mediation” describes a new and fundamentally different approach to conflict. 

Mediation is a collaborative and consensus building model of conflict resolution.   Instead of deciding a dispute between parties and making a ruling, as a judge or arbitrator does, a mediator will attempt to lead the parties to agreement among themselves. 

Thus, while mediation is typically described as a “meeting,” and mediation does indeed often take place in the context of a meeting, there are many different forms of mediation and many different types of meetings used in mediation.  

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Empowering Questions

Sometimes the question is more important than the answer.  How can we discern what questions to ask?

 

This is a companion post to my earlier article,  Compassion in Listening

In Compassion in Listening, I wrote about the basic idea that when we listen to others, we are not fully available to hear what they are trying to express unless we clear our minds of our preconceived notions and ideas about what they are going to say.   In other words, we must open our minds to hear what they truly want to express, rather than just listening for what we want to hear.

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Recognizing Stages of Conflict and Knowing When to Call for Help

Conflict is a normal part of life.  It occurs every day.  At its lowest stages, conflict is seen as an opportunity to learn and grow together.  At its highest levels, outside intervention is required.  In between, there are distinct stages that most patterns of conflict follow.  Different conflict intervention strategies are effective for each different stage of conflict.

In this article, learn more about predictable stages of conflict and the types of interventions that are appropriate at the various stages.

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Scapegoating: A Case of Misplaced Blame, Part III

In the last post on this topic, I promised to create a third post to help the scapegoated person cope with the situation, to help keep you from being scapegoated.

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Scapegoating: A Case of Misplaced Blame, Part II

This is Part II in a three part blog series on scapegoating.

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Scapegoating in Conflict Resolution, Part I

A scapegoat is a person or object on which anxiety or blame can be dumped, even when they don’t  deserve it.  This is the first in a three part series on this blog on scapegoating.

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